Dealing with pain in your relationship
We all know and have experienced the pain of not being in an intimate relationship. We feel miserable, like something is not right with our lives. It is true that we are usually fine just by ourselves, being on our own. However, there is an actual physical and emotional pain present sometimes that is associated with not having a mate.
On the other hand, we all believe that when we find a partner this pain should fade, and it does. We feel complete and elated for a time. The first couple of months is typically the honeymoon period, when we feel the most intimate with our partner. Everything seems to be great. At that moment, the pain of not being involved in a relationship is gone.
But the honeymoon period won’t last forever. After several months we move into the second level of relationship, what I call the me/us phase. This stage deal with being in a relationship but also being separate, pursuing our own aims and interests. We still feel the need to be with our partner, but not ALL the time. And here some of the pain starts to come back.
On this stage, we normally still are in love with our partner, but we start to spot some problems. Maybe they start to seem too needy or clingy. Or the other way round, they might seem too distant or like they require too much space.
Finally, we start to worry, feel some pressure, or think that maybe we made a mistake. Sometimes we start to feel desperate for the honeymoon phase to come back. We have now entered into the pain of being in a relationship! Consider this relationship insight: there is pain in not being in a relationship, and there is pain in being in a relationship!
This entry was posted on Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 2:09 pm and is filed under Uncategorized, dates, first date, love advice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.